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How to dominate Google in your sector

or at least thats the promise a client told me they had received recently via an email, the way that will best demonstrate how silly these claims are I will reproduce the email and the responses with my normal sarcastic but ‘real’ comments:

[SEO company] I noted that you have 2010 pages being looked at by Google (although plenty of those are a server error promoting pharmaceutical products)
What I am offering you is a 250,000+ page satellite site that will cover you for every area in the UK (there are 44,443 areas in the UK). We are the only company in the UK that can create these sites as the program we use took 12 months in the making. Below is an example of how the satellite sites works. [delicious webdesign – naive and silly claims and statements]

If you type into Google “ domestic free solar”  no 1 worldwide is [website link given, that they are claiming credit for] If you type into Google  “domestic free solar Followed by absolutely any area in England you can think of, you will find they are on the front page of Google for every search [delicious webdesign – yes we agree that website is number one ranked but the search term is next to useless and a one page site could rank for that search term within 1 month]
For example “domestic free solar London”
You can also do the same for “commercial turbines”
These are just examples of how satellite sites work

Basically we can do the same for you using phrases like [clients key search phrases]  and on every single page we would place a direct link to your Main site. Also you are guaranteed to be our only client for National coverage for anything to do with your profession. Below is a site we have utilised a back link campaign that we can create for any site out there that has already been created by another company. You will notice the site is found naturally on Google for all the phrases listed below. Phrases to be found for are [included a ranndom list of search phrases]

I actually have plenty of examples but it would probably be better if I just give you this link to our testimonials [link given]  They are all on the front page of Google (without paying for adwords)

Also please note that we are by no means a back alley company,The Directors of our company are an ex-Development Manager at Sky and also held the position as Head of Sky’s search engineering department.
My previous position was also Development Manager at Sky.Should you have any questions I shall be available between Mon-Fri 9am to 4pm.

[Website Client] Our last designer did say we were linked to all those companies and that someone  who Martin had dealt with on SEO had probably done this.  You would understand better than me the implications of this.  Also, he has made some proposals which we thought we would just send over to you as again you will be better able to understand this.  What do you think?

[Delicious Webdesign] Probably should expect more of these type emails as the website gets ranked higher and higher, they are basically from companies promising to promote your website, we have got some real horror stories about the ruthless side of these companies.  I could pull their claims apart and talk to you for hours about their silly claims, but just looking at the example search result that they claim number 1 ranking for as an example will hopefully demonstrate how useless this company is for you. The search term “domestic free solar” that they gave in the email currently has so few searches that Google (via their keyword tool) shows me that they have such a low number of searches for that term they dont record how many searches are made for it so its probably less than 50 per month meaning its very very uncompetitive. They are trying to scare you about the ‘pharmaceutical products’ and you have nothing to worry about, once the website build is complete you will get a full report that details your SEO status.

[Website Client – email to company mentioned in the email] Can you confirm that you have had work performed on your website by the following company as they are claiming they have worked on your site and helped it rank highly for a variety of terms. Really appreciate this if you can get back to us

[Company Reply] no we have never heard of them and will be emailing them to complain